This chapter will explain some elements of how to navigate social life during university, and suggest good places in Fribourg to have a good time outside of class.

For many students, meeting new people and making friends is one of the most exciting, yet challenging aspects of entering university. For students with autism, the first semester at university is a time of great change and adjustment, during which the social and routine aspects of autism can complicate matters.

In the beginning, there is no need to put pressure on yourself to make friends. The most important thing is to be able to get along with people and find people you know to share activities with, so that you are less lonely.

It can be tempting to avoid doing anything outside of lectures, but getting on with people (even if they are not your best friends) and participating in activities outside of your lectures will help make university a positive experience for you. To find ideas for activities, you can check the University’s diary.

You will meet new people throughout your studies: some will remain mere acquaintances and others may become true friends.

“The first thing to remember is that we are not alone. We’ve all been at a stage where we feel like we’re the only ones struggling to make friends. This was especially the case for me because I have Asperger’s Syndrome, which is a form of autism. This basically means that I have problems socializing and making friends. Despite the difficulties this posed for me, I now have a good number of friends.” (James, former student)

Here’s what participants in the first Autism&Uni research said when asked how they made friends:

• “I joined clubs, then I was invited to hang out with people because I was a very interesting weirdo. (That’s what I was told anyway)”.

• “Through hosting, then friends of friends”.

• “Through my work in the library, friends of friends (not many people from school went to the same University), laboratories”.

• “I went to the creative writing society and met nerds like me.”

• “Drink.” (This was a popular answer – interest and tolerance for alcohol can vary…).

• “I managed to find a group of like-minded people” – (an environmental activist group) –  “not that I liked all of them, but I found people I matched with in that group and that allowed me to make many other connections.”

• “I went to the introduction day and joined about a million groups. Then I realised it was too much and focused on rugby – mates for life!”

• “I was in a student hostel and so I was forced to hang out with strangers in common areas. To be honest, I never really made any real friends.”

• “Being brave and talking to people in long lines. That’s how I met my closest friend for almost 18 years now.”

• “After an initial cursory chat with everyone during the introductory week, I talked with my neighbours in the hallway and with people in the film club. Other friends of friends became my friends too. The most enduring college friendships (30 years now) have been born out of common interests and hobbies.”

• “I got lucky with a few nice people in the hallways (well, 3) who introduced me to other nice people.”

• “I’ve lived in hallways, approached nerdy-looking classmates, met people on Internet forums.”

• “I moved into a student house, left my door open, talked to people, was scared of all the freshmen at first, so I found some sophomores. I committed effort and willpower to do all this – I was very shy and not very confident. As a sophomore, I stayed in the halls and made friends more easily – then I went out and expanded my circle of acquaintances by spending time in coffee shops.”

Before going to university, you will probably find groups for students on social networks. In Fribourg in particular, the Facebook group Students Fribourg is quite active.

The idea of approaching people who have the same interests as you already makes the first contact much easier.

In Fribourg, there are several possibilities:

• Some recreational clubs linked to the University (see the link to campus activities).
• As a student, you have access to a multitude of sports offers at very low prices or even free of charge.
• You can take language courses at all levels and in different forms.
• There are several associations related to the Media.
• You will also find several offers in the cultural agenda.
• And of course, all kinds of socio-cultural activities.
• As well as useful contacts at the Student Associations and Fachschaften (group of students of your study programme).

Sometimes it’s enough to meet one or two nice people who in turn will introduce you to others, and so on. But there’s no need to put yourself under pressure.

It’s essential to be yourself, whoever you meet.

While students in the Autism&Uni study told that talking to friends really helped them when they were stressed, many people also found that socializing was one of their biggest challenges in college.

Many factors come into play: your social skills for example, but also a little luck in meeting the right people at the right time. There is no magic formula for making friends.

In Fribourg, cafés and restaurants are a real institution. During the semester, almost a quarter of the city of Fribourg is filled with students! So there’s a good chance you’ll meet people you know without making a prior appointment, just by walking around the cafés and terraces.

Many students like to spend time in cafés to chat or even study. Near Miséricorde for example, the Mondial and the Café Populaire are often full of students. The café de l’Ancienne Gare (near the train station) is also very popular with students. But there are also all the cafeterias, mensas, student halls and all the corners of the University that you will find in the section Location of buildings.

Many students with autism are not comfortable with the idea of socializing without a purpose. Everyone is free to do as they want, socializing is not a requirement! If you want to socialize a little more, perhaps one way to do this is to start cultuvating the habit by going out for drinks as part of a group project for class. It is helpful to take the time to choose restaurants or cafes that will be sensory friendly. If you have found any cafes or restaurants that you feel are sensorially acceptable, contact us! We will compile a list with your input.

Starting a conversation with someone you don’t know takes a lot of courage, whether you are on the spectrum or not. At first, when you don’t know many people, it can be intimidating to get to know someone.

You can take advantage of the beginning of your studies to get to know the colleagues in your study programme. It can be useful to have a scenario already prepared in your head to start with, for example:

• Saying hello
• Give your name and ask for his/her name
• Talk about what we have just experienced together (Did you understand the part of the lesson that talked about …?) .
• Once you get to know each other better, there will probably be a concrete opportunity to exchange phone numbers or add each other on social networks (I can send you the link to the …, do you want to pass me your number?).
• When you know each other a little better, you can send messages to share information or just to have a laugh. You have to be careful to know if your new acquaintance appreciates and also sends you messages in return, otherwise it’s better to wait for them to make the next contact with you.
• Afterwards, you may have the opportunity to do something together, such as go to a conference, a movie, or a party.

• Join groups, societies, and associations, either at the University or outside the University
• Introduce the people you meet to each other, and they will do the same with you and their new friends
• Try to understand the difference between people you know (your acquaintances) and your real friends
• Try to leave your door open if you live in student accommodation or a flat share, talk to people in communal areas
• To find ideas for activities to do, you can consult the agenda of the University or the tourist office of Fribourg
• If you need a social break during the day, you can consult the list of quiet libraries at the University of Fribourg or the sensory calm zone.
• Take the time to discover the cafeterias, cafés and restaurants in Fribourg, to choose the ones you feel most comfortable in
• Subscribe to the newsletters of Fribourg’s emblematic student venues such as the Ancienne gare or the Centre Fries, or the various Facebook pages that interest you in order to be kept up to date on socio-cultural news

• Does the University of Fribourg have any clubs, groups or societies related to my interests?
• Am I able to leave my room door open in shared accommodation when I am inside so that my housemates know I am open to talking to them?
• Have I found my Fachschaft on the internet? Is it active and do I want to get involved?
• What are the main student places in Fribourg that interest me?
• Have I already found a place to be quiet when I need to?

• Guide to make new friends
• Free activities in French-speaking Switzerland
• University of Fribourg :
  • campus activities
  • sports offers
  • language course
  • media associations
  • cultural agenda
  • sociocultural activities
  • student unions
  • Fachschafts.
• Contact us to let us know about places you like CONTACT

Adapted from https://leedsbeckett.autism-uni.org/ by Nathalie Quartenoud

Translated by: Daniel Dukes